Where is the hickey?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
