btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
