I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
