On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
