Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
