Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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