Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just gift wrapped bread.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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