i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
