Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
