Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You can't special order awesome
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
