not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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