shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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