i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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