she was so not down for the gang bang
Yo dont text me then not text me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
