She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize