I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
