Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
