This is not my ceiling
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
