On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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