Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
