1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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