This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
