Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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