its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
