Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
