This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
