He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
