I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize