pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
