No stitches, just platelets and will power
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
