After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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