I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
