Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
