tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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