I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
