Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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