come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize