so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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