i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
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Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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