if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
