something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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