There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
