Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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