oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
