Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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