If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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