I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
