Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My pussy is not your playground.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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