You made me cry and you don't even care
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
