So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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