so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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