I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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