We're facebook friends in real life
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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