when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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