whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
