I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
