He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize