I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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