I'm lost and stupid without you.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
