I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
