So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
