do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize